Maximum people begin their married life as a happy couple. They tend to enjoy together with each other and thoughts like “avoiding divorce or saving marriage” does not come in their minds. However as the years pass by, conflicts and bitterness creep in, and the couple tend to wake up in the dreary world. Divorce may seem like a good option yet it is the least effective way to solve any marital conflict. Doing whatever it takes to save your marriage is the best option. By doing so it also helps to avoid the social, psychological, financial and spiritual damage that a divorce will cause. Therefore, here are some ways by which you can try in order to avoid divorce.
Listen to your partner
In order to have a good marriage open and honest communication is crucial. You must listen patiently when your partner comes to you with problems or concerns about your relationship. You must be attentive in conversation as it will help you to understand what makes them unhappy and give you a chance to take action. If you have questions about what you can do to make your partner happier and more satisfied then you should feel free to ask them. You can also expect your partner to listen to you with an equal amount of respect. If your partner is verbally abusive, belittling, or refuses to engage in conversation, let them know how their behavior makes you feel hopeless, alone, and dejected.
Stay positive
Your spouse fell in love with a happy and emotionally balanced person. If you have become exhausted by conflict in the relationship then you can take a step back. It is natural to feel down about conflicts in your relationship but you must try to focus on the big picture. Whenever you feel depressed about the state of your relationship, you should think back about your good times you had with your spouse. Your happiness should not be dependent on the other person. You must focus on being the best you can be, even if your partner is not. You should try to be attentive to subtle, positive changes in how you and your partner interact. You should share the positive changes with your partner.
Be flexible
You must keep in mind that marriage is a cooperative partnership. You cannot demand that everything should be done your way. Neither of you will get your way all the time. If you and your partner have different goals and ideas whether it is about where to move or where to dine hear each other out. You both must have conversations. If you listen to your partner then your partner will also listen to you. You both must let certain things to go. Being flexible does not mean your spouse should walk all over you. There are times when the decision not to make concessions is the right one.
Keep up appearances
Physical attraction tends to be only one part of love, in our visual culture but it plays an important role in how we think about and relate to our partner. When you go out with your spouse, dress nicely to show that you consider your time together special. You must take care of your health, too. You must eat a nutritious, balanced diet with lots of fruit and vegetables, and do thirty minutes of exercise each day. In order to keep your partner’s attraction toward you, you should dress well and take care of your appearance.
Practice healthy communication
When you are in a mood and state appropriate then only speak to your partner. You should not yell at your spouse. If you feel anger building on your side or your spouse’s, suggest that you both take some time out to cool off and resume the conversation later. You must avoid trigger topics, the issues and problems which lead you and your spouse to bicker. Communication is best when you are sober and rested.
Balance your time
Healthy couples always spend time together as well as apart. You both can catch a movie, play mini-golf, go bowling whatever it is you both enjoy doing, do it together. Try new things and have adventures helps you to bond with each other. But if you need some alone time to recharge then let your partner know. You and your partner are not clones so you both may not be interested in all the same activities. You both must give each other space to pursue the hobbies and interests you each enjoy. You both should try to set aside specific days or time periods for date nights. In addition to spending time alone, spend time with your friends.
Stay loyal to your spouse
It is quite tempting to flirt with someone who gives you the attention and affection that your spouse do not give. You should always remember that your spouse is your family. If you violate the bond of marriage then it can propel you toward divorce and leave you feeling guilty. You should try to identify situations or individuals you know who may lead you to infidelity and avoid them wherever possible.
Focus on your partner’s good qualities
You should think back to when you first met and fell in love with your spouse. If you remember about these good times then it might help you to see their good side more clearly in the present. If you are constantly on the lookout for your partner’s flaws, instead of their positive qualities, you will see them in abundance.
Identify what needs to change
If you are considering divorce, it is likely there are real problems for which both of you are partially to blame. You should not blame your partner for all the problems in your marriage. Have a conversation with your spouse so you can come to a mutual understanding of what has gone wrong, and how it can be fixed. Expressing the problems might help you to solve many problems. You can even try to see the conflict from your spouse’s point of view.
Let go of the past.
You both should talk to each other about when you both got hurt or upset with each other’s attitude. If you wish, write the list down. This should not be a complete list, but it should include the most painful memories or experiences that you and your partner have held onto, and which have inspired mutual resentment. Each of you should acknowledge how you contributed to the misunderstanding and apologize. You should practice forgiveness even if your partner will not.